For those of you who don't already know, I am terrified of heights. I'm not sure why, exactly... I just always have been. I'm okay in airplanes.... I love flying... but when it comes to lookin gover ledges or being up on ladders, I start to sweat. My knees get weak. I start feeling lightheaded. It's not good. Not good at all.
Well, there was a period of time my senior year of high school that I was sort of seeing this girl. I mean, I was definitely seeing her... it's not like she was invisible or anything like that... and we hung out a lot for a period of time... mostly at night... kind of like dating... except that I only kissed her once, so it was more like we were friends.
Anyways... The fact that I hung out with a girl and wasn't really dating her wasn't what I meant to talk about. I was talking about my insane fear of heights. So, I know you're wondering why I bring the girl up. Well, I bring her up because of where we used to hang out. The Midpoint Bridge.
That doesn't mean anything to most of you, so let me fill you in on what that is... There's a river that separates the city I'm grew up in from it's neighbor. There used to be two bridges that connected them. One was on the very south end of town, the other at the very north. After 20 years of debate, they finally started construction on a bridge in the middle during my senior year of high school.
Well, one night we were looking for something to do, so we went to this park that was just next to where the city was building the bridge. We wandered a boardwalk that extended over the water and just enjoyed each others company. It was nice. Eventually, we'd walked all the trails in the park, so started walking towards the bridge. We found it pretty easy to bypass the baracades meant to keep us away, and made our way to where the bridge ended. We stood there, looking down at the water fifty feet below us.
We sat there, legs dangling off into the air and talked. I put my arm around her to shield her a little from the cold wind and she rested her head on my shoulder. I couldn't tell you what we talked about up there, I just remember that we were up there for hours. We went back, too. Often. We would just sit up there in the cold and stay close to keep each other warm as we talked.
One night I went to the bridge alone. I don't remember why and the reason doesn't really matter, anyway. I went to think about something. I parked my car at the park and walked over. I climbed around the baracades and made my way to the edge of the bridge. Everything was going fine, until I got close enough to the edge to see over it's crest. My heart started beating faster with each step I took towards the edge. At about twenty feet away, I couldn't will my feet to take another step closer. I dropped to my hands and knees and started to crawl. My head started spinning. I couldn't stand back up if I wanted to. When I got about two feet from the edge and I could see almost straight down, my heart just about pounded itself out of my chest. Not even my hands nad knees could support me anymore. I laid down and pressed myself against the concrete. I must have just laid there for about five minutes trying to catch my breath. Slowly... ever-so slowly, I began to shimmy backwards on my belly. When I was well clear of that ledge, I turned msyelf around and crawled another ten feet before I even thought about trying to stand up. As soon as I did get to my feet, though, I ran back down the bridge. I don't think I'd ever been quite so terrified in my entire life.
The funny part was, that bridge never bothered me before. any time I went up there with my friend, I was fine. It's like I completely forgot my fears when I was with her. It was at that moment, when I was standing at the foot of the bridge with my heart still pounding, that I realized how powerful love can be.
And that's something I've never forgotten.
Well, there was a period of time my senior year of high school that I was sort of seeing this girl. I mean, I was definitely seeing her... it's not like she was invisible or anything like that... and we hung out a lot for a period of time... mostly at night... kind of like dating... except that I only kissed her once, so it was more like we were friends.
Anyways... The fact that I hung out with a girl and wasn't really dating her wasn't what I meant to talk about. I was talking about my insane fear of heights. So, I know you're wondering why I bring the girl up. Well, I bring her up because of where we used to hang out. The Midpoint Bridge.
That doesn't mean anything to most of you, so let me fill you in on what that is... There's a river that separates the city I'm grew up in from it's neighbor. There used to be two bridges that connected them. One was on the very south end of town, the other at the very north. After 20 years of debate, they finally started construction on a bridge in the middle during my senior year of high school.
Well, one night we were looking for something to do, so we went to this park that was just next to where the city was building the bridge. We wandered a boardwalk that extended over the water and just enjoyed each others company. It was nice. Eventually, we'd walked all the trails in the park, so started walking towards the bridge. We found it pretty easy to bypass the baracades meant to keep us away, and made our way to where the bridge ended. We stood there, looking down at the water fifty feet below us.
We sat there, legs dangling off into the air and talked. I put my arm around her to shield her a little from the cold wind and she rested her head on my shoulder. I couldn't tell you what we talked about up there, I just remember that we were up there for hours. We went back, too. Often. We would just sit up there in the cold and stay close to keep each other warm as we talked.
One night I went to the bridge alone. I don't remember why and the reason doesn't really matter, anyway. I went to think about something. I parked my car at the park and walked over. I climbed around the baracades and made my way to the edge of the bridge. Everything was going fine, until I got close enough to the edge to see over it's crest. My heart started beating faster with each step I took towards the edge. At about twenty feet away, I couldn't will my feet to take another step closer. I dropped to my hands and knees and started to crawl. My head started spinning. I couldn't stand back up if I wanted to. When I got about two feet from the edge and I could see almost straight down, my heart just about pounded itself out of my chest. Not even my hands nad knees could support me anymore. I laid down and pressed myself against the concrete. I must have just laid there for about five minutes trying to catch my breath. Slowly... ever-so slowly, I began to shimmy backwards on my belly. When I was well clear of that ledge, I turned msyelf around and crawled another ten feet before I even thought about trying to stand up. As soon as I did get to my feet, though, I ran back down the bridge. I don't think I'd ever been quite so terrified in my entire life.
The funny part was, that bridge never bothered me before. any time I went up there with my friend, I was fine. It's like I completely forgot my fears when I was with her. It was at that moment, when I was standing at the foot of the bridge with my heart still pounding, that I realized how powerful love can be.
And that's something I've never forgotten.
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