The Human Torch

I think if I were going to be any superhero, it would be The Human Torch. Not because he's was one of the Fantastic Four... Not because I think it would be cool to jet around town as a giant fireball... No. I would be The Human Torch because, well, that's what I already am.

I'm like a million degrees right now.

The AC is running, my fan is on full blast and I'm lying in bed sweating. It's kinda gross.

Normally what I do in situations like this is an ice cold shower and a shave. Its officially summer when my beard disappears. It'll come back. most likely very soon. But tonight? Tonight it's going away.

...

Hi friends.
I have an idea...
Just for tonight
Lets pretend.
Lets pretend we're the Lost Boys
Chasing each other
And being chased
By the evil Capt. Hook.
Lets fly together
And be free.
Lets pretend
Just for a little while.
Lets pretend we're spies
On a secret mission...
A secret mission of fun!
Tonight, dear friends
Lets pretend.
Lets pretend.

...

It could have been anyone... anyone... we are not alone. We come. We know. We come. We stay. You won't remember. We won't remind you. We come. We know. We come. We stay. You won't remember. We won't recognize each other

...

She wrote my name across the bathroom mirror in her lipstick.
It was surrounded by a heart.
The counter was covered in her tears.

...

I asked you once
I asked you twice
And its not something I can ask again.
If you say no
Just one more time
If you say no
I just don't know
If I can hold on
Hold on
Hold on

...

My fingertips are tingling. And no, I haven't been drinking. I don't hear the ocean right now, though, which is a good thing. I thought I was going to go crazy for a little while there. It was close this time. So close. Those times.. when the ocean comes.. its all i can hear. Lowercase i, but when the ocean is here, i'm not really me. i'm a shell. filled with nothing but that sound. in a way its a relief to hear something in that ear. its been so long since i've heard a voice on that side. a whisper.

she used to whisper secrets in that ear. after the hearing was gone. i could feel her breath barely escaping as she said things i can only imagine.

...

I'm starting to fade. Time for that shower and shave.

Think cool thoughts.

All my love...

Should I fall out of love, my fire in the light
To chase a feather in the wind
Within the glow that weaves a cloak of delight
There moves a thread that has no end.
For many hours and days that pass ever soon
the tides have caused the flame to dim
At last the arm is straight, the hand to the loom
Is this to end or just the begining?

All of my love,
all of my love,
all of my love to you now.

...

Life can be.... complicated. But it doesn't have to be. It can be as simple as you make it. There are choices, decisions, risks, consequenses, pitfalls and pratfalls around every corner. Or you can step back and not worry about the day to day madness that is life. You can look past all those trees that stand in the way and see the forest for all of its beauty. You are the future. Your plans. What they may be leading up to. Or you can look closer to those every day disasters and find even the tiniest bit of beauty within them. The smells, the sounds, the colors and the feel of everything that makes up this world around us. There is beauty in everything if you choose to see it.

...

The cup is raised, the toast is made yet again
One voice is clear above the din
Proud Aryan, one word, my will to sustain
For me, the cloth once more to spin

All of my love,
all of my love,
all of my love to you now.

...

I fell in love again today.
its been a little while since that's happened.
the sideways glance over her shoulder
I couldn't help it.
it was fleeting, though.
we shared a drink
and a dinner
and a goodbye.

...

Yours is the cloth, mine is the hand that sews time
his is the force that lies within
Ours is the fire, all the warmth we can find
He is a feather in the wind

All of my love,
all of my love,
all of my love to you now.

sometime, sometime, sometime, sometime

All of my love,
all of my love,
all of my love to you now.

I get a little bit lonely,
Just a little, just a little, just a little bit lonley,
just a little bit lonley

The Story of Cherry - Part One

And we called her Cherry. I'm not really sure how she got that name, or why. That's just what we called her. She was beautiful. Beyond words. I'm not sure why I keep saying "was" like she's gone. She is still here. Still with us. Still beautiful. She's not Cherry anymore, though. That name just kind of faded away. Lots of things faded away that summer.
I haven't really told you much of anything yet, have I? Let's start with the basics. I was raised on journalism, so I'll go ahead and answer the Five W's and the H.
Who? Cherry was... well, she was just cherry. She's got a name, but if I were to use her real name you would know exactly who I was talking about and I'm not about to do that. You know me... I'm Dave. What more do you need? Everyone else is everyone else. The names of the side characters in this story don't really matter. I mean, they're all my friends and huge parts of my life, but in this story, in this place, all names will be changed to protect the innocent and guilty alike.
What? This is the story of how Cherry became Cherry and then... didn't.
Why? Because I can't sleep and you, apparently, have too much time on your hands
When? This was the infamous summer of 2002. AKA - Our Summer of Love AKA - Beach Blanket Bingo-a-Go-Go AKA - Oh Two? Oh No!
Where? To make it easy, we'll pretend all the events that follow happened in Gainesville. They didn't, but I'm not too keen on telling the whole story. I like leaving a bit of mystery to the whole thing. If you weren't there, you weren't there. There can be no substitute for the real thing.
How? My god if I only knew how, I wouldn't have let it happen the way it did... but it happened. We'll call it fate. Maybe karma... maybe just shit luck.
So there you have it. Gainesville. 2002. Me. Cherry. A wicked twist of fate. Kids, this is not the story of how I met your mother....
She whispered in my ear. That was my first contact with her. We were at Market Street with our bottomless mugs just minding our own business, throwing darts when she slipped up behind me and whispered in my ear, "Hide me!"
I turned around to see an angel. Albeit a very drunk angel, but still. She looked over her shoulder and said it again.
"Hide me."
I had no idea what to do. It didn't help that I was already pretty gone myself. So I did the first thing that popped in my head.
I said OK.
I raised my glass to my buddies, downed the rest of my beverage and turned to the angel that appeared so suddenly over my shoulder. I just looked at her for a second, taking everything in. Her hair was swept down over one nearly bare shoulder. Her dress was markedly out of place where everyone else in the building was wearing shorts and T's. Her eyes were so wide and so glassy. They definitely showed a look of mild concern, though, so I knew I shouldn't hesitate anymore before I lost my chance. Taking one more look around I saw a guy trying to move through the crowd. He was dressed in a suit. They looked like they belonged together.
She looked me in the eyes and said the word that pushed me into action.
"Please?"
That was my queue.
Without even thinking, I just lifted her over my shoulder and pushed through the crowd and out the front door. To this day, I can't tell you why I did it. Why didn't I just pull her towards the corner of the bar with the rest of my friends where she wouldn't be noticed? Why didn't I sneak her up the back stairs, behind her mysterious pursuer? No clue. I did what I did, though, and once I picked her up there was no turning back.
The rest of that night was kind of a blur. I remember putting her down eventually. Maybe two or three blocks away. We went to another bar. She was so fucking beautiful. We got a ride from someone... her friend? My friend? I couldn't tell you. We were at an apartment. It was loud so we went for a walk. She never told me who she was hiding from or why. Not that night, at least. I remember someone driving me home.
And that's about it.
When I woke up the next morning, I had a wicked hangover and a phone number written across my arm in black Sharpie. It took me two days to get that scrubbed off, by the way. I tried to remember exactly what happened after I left Market Street but could only recall the few snippets I just mentioned. All I had was the number on my arm and a name.
As I got ready to call the number, I realized something, though. I didn't actually have a name. All I had was a number. Shit. Oh well. I called it.
It rang.
Twice.
Then she picked up.
"Hello?"
I didn't know what to say. This was a girl I picked up and carried out of a bar the night before. We had a good time and as far as I know, we didn't have "A Good Time" if you know what I mean... and here I was calling her the next day without even knowing her name? If you know me, and since you're reading this I know you do, you know that is NOT something I do.
"Anyone there?"
Shit.
I was still on the phone.
...
.....
.......
And then I said it.
I don't know why, but I did.
"Cherry?"
"Oh, Dave. Good morning!"
The fact that her voice sounded so chipper while I felt like the bottom of a lumberjack's shoe pissed me off a little.
The fact that she recognized my voice and recognized my name definitely made me smile.
The fact that I called her "Cherry" and she responded was just plain confusing.
Well, folks, its 3AM and I just got through telling you how we met Cherry, so I'll just fast-forward a bit for ya.
We talked for a while that afternoon. Ended up grabbing lunch. Swapped stories from the night before, trying to hammer down some specific details, which we didn't. And she told me why she was hiding. I'll tell you that tomorrow night. Just know that after that night, she became a part of our group. Instant friend. It was pretty epic.
Oh, one more thing... To this day, when I think back to the first time I met Cherry, I will always remember how struck I was by her beauty. Never again had I felt caught so off guard by someone. It was just... Wow.

Settling

The world thrives in the tiniest of places. I'm not sure what made me think of that, earlier, but it's amazing, isn't it? Life is everywhere. Things are alive in places that life just doesn't seem to belong... but it's there. Pretty cool stuff.

On a slightly different topic... I was talking to someone the other day about relationships in general and, inevitably, past relationships came up... people seem to be intrigued by the fact that I was married. It feels very strange to me, too, don't worry. But the conversation turned to what people look for in a relationship partner, at what point to get married, and at what point you might have to call it quits.

A majority of the conversation turned into a debate about settling. You know.. when you settle for someone who's not perfect because... well, because they're there. On the one hand, why should you ever settle for what isn't perfect? Marriage is a commitment that should last a lifetime. Can you spend the next 60 years with someone other than THE ONE? And let's say you do settle... what happens when you finally meet the perfect person? You're stuck with what you've got.

On the other hand, though... What are the odds the perfect person even exists for you? I have a clear vision of what perfection is... of that woman from my dreams... but I have never met her. Never seen her. Never talked to her. Never glanced out the window of my car to see her driving in the lane next to me so that I could post some freaky message on craigslist in the hopes that she, too, is reading those creepy posts on craigslist. Am I willing to wait until I die in the hopes that someone meeting the thousands of little requirements to become My Perfection comes along? Heck no.

When I got hitched the first time, was I settling? Hell yeah. My ex was nowhere near My Perfect Woman. Not even close. But she made me happy. She met enough requirements that I thought, "You know, I could probably find someone who meets more of my requirements, but this one makes me happy 80% of the time just by being by my side." And folks, that's requirement numero uno for me.

So yeah, I settled. And you know what? If the right person comes around I'll probably settle again. I'm not planning on waiting around forever for My Perfect Woman who may or may not even exist... I plan on finding someone who makes me happy most of the time. Someone who I love. Someone who loves me. Someone who likes Macaroni and Cheese with hot dogs. I'm an easy guy to please...

I'm not saying that I'm giving up on being happy, quite the opposite, actually. I'm giving up on waiting to be happier. Life is good and life is NOW. Life is not about waiting for what might be, it’s about reveling in what IS.

And that, dear friends, is what I have to say about THAT.

Peace out, my faithful brethren... and eat those veggies because who knows? Maybe the world WON'T end tomorrow.