Life tried to teach me a lesson. Yes it did. Flash back to Wednesday. It was just another day like every other day and every other day and every other... well... you get it, don't you? It was nothing special. Well, it was a day off work, if you count that as special. I woke up, had a snack, watched some TV, nothing groundbreaking. I didn't discover the cure for cancer or anything. I did get a buzz from a friend asking if I wanted to go out for lunch, though, so I did.
I thought that would be a nice excuse to get off the couch.
I was right.
I had a perfectly lovely sandwhich and a nice tall brewskie with a friend. The day was shaping up to be just grand.
I ran a few errands on that side of town, and figured I'd swing by work real quick on my way home. Y'know, to get a few things done. Nothing big. What should have been ten minutes turned into an hour and ten minutes. Nothing new there, either. Just a day like any other day.
Or so I thought. This is where life decided to get me.
It was my day off and I was at work. I do that a lot. Apparently too much.
As I was walking to my car, I looked up to see a flock of seagulls flying above me. Not the '80's band, mind you, but an actual flock of seagulls. At that moment a memory came flooding back to me. My elementary school in NY was near the water, so we had tons of seagulls flying over head every morning. All the kids used to wait outside of the school until the morning bell rang and we would line up in our classes and walk, single file, to our rooms. There was this one kid who always wore a leather bomber jacket whenever the weather was cool enough for him to pull it off. Every morning he was wearing that jacket, one of the seagulls above would take aim and drop a load on him, leaving a white streak down his black jacket.
I know you think I'm exaggerating by saying that every time he wore the jacket he got crapped on, and you're right. But it happened often enough that no one would stand around him before that morning bell wrang.
So I was thinking about that poor kid who got perpetually covered in pooh when I felt something on my arm.
Seriously?
I'm walking through the parking lot smiling to myself at the memory of Bird-Pooh-Boy when a seagull takes carefull aim and drops a bomb right on my arm.
I mean.... seriously?
That's what I get for working on my day off...
Wednesday night was fun, though... I went to see Sublime feat. Rome and The Dirty Heads.
The music was amazing, the bartender forgot what I had on my tab and the women were plentiful.
Only problem with the women is that everyone I ended up talking to either smoked or was still in high school. Both of which are deal breakers for me. The latter makes me feel like a dirty old man and the former makes me smell like a dirty old man.
For the record, I approached the smokers and I was approached by the high schoolers.
Girl sits down next to me: Hi! These guys are awesome!
Me: Seriously. I never heard of them before this year, but my friend got me hooked.
Girl: Me too! This song is totally my favorite!
We both bob our heads to the music enjoying the sweet, sweet melodies...
Me, trying to make some conversation: I've never actually been to this place before. Have you?
Girl, makes a pouty face: No! My parents NEVER let me go to the good shows, but I totally got them to let me come tonight!
Me, with a smile on my face while I realize this girl is, like, 17: Parents suck!
Girl: Totally.
We both kind of look around as the song ends. The lead singer says something about never being in Alabama before and everyone in the crowd screams at the top of their lungs to welcome them.
Me: So... are you from around here?
Girl: Yeah! I go to _______ High School! You?!?
Me: Nope, I just moved here a few months ago...
Girl: Oh! Do you go to Faulkner?!? I know Soooooooo many people there!
Me: Nope, I graduated college already...
Girl: Really?
Me: Yeah, back in.... 2002.
Girl: Oh....
The next song starts and we both start singing along. The girls eyebrows begin to furrow as she does the math in her head. I can see her thinking "ok... he's a little older. he already graduated college, that's sooooooo cool... wait... he graduated college in 2002? i was in 4th grade when he graduated college..."
Girl: oh...
Me: Yeah.
Girl: ...
Me: Yeah....
Girl: ...
Me: Well... I love this song... I'm going to listen to it from over there.
Girl: Yeah...
Me: Enjoy the show!
Girl: yeah... you too...
awkward.
