there are so many things that I wish I could just say to you.... but i can't... so I guess that leave sme here saying it for all the world to see.

Even though I know only, like, 3 people read this... thanks V, Leann and... well, whoever that third person might be....

I've actually written a LOT over the last few days... so mahy words.. so many feelings... decisions... so much random crap that was just deleted and lost to the deep dark depths of cyberspace.... Now that I'm here and typing again (and quite a bit less sober than I've been in a while) I feel like I should sayy something of some sort of substance ( even though my eyes are closed and I myself am not even bothering to read this madness)

here's the thing, though... all the stuff I want to say, I can't... not because I dont' want to, though... but because I'm about to fall asleep. At this point I'm tired tnough that I'm just ready for sleep to come take me.... and i'm ready for that...

maybe... but... maybe... but... but... maybe.....

the world hangs in maybe.