why does it seem like i'm always sitting at the intersection of life and... not life.
...
last night i picked up my phone as it rang and i just let it ring. it went to voicemail. my phone rang again, and i ignored it again. the third time i didn't even look at it. it became a piece of the background. white noise. i don't remember how many times the phone rang or how many times i let it ring. i was just lying in bed wishing it were someone else on the other end of that phone call.
...
i couldn't look you in the eye and say what i wanted to say. i couldn't do what i wanted to do. when i could look in your eyes, i could see that you were more than just a little disappointed. you didn't see me, you saw what you wanted to see, what i helped you see. you saw what wasn't there. and here i am, expecting too much, looking at a fallen angel.
...
I've been on a Tool kick lately. Falling asleep listening to them every night. Listening to them right now. I think I should switch it up a bit. Maybe throw on some Zep. Yeah, I think that's what I'm going to do. I've noticed my thoughts have been wandering... a little dark... a little depressed... a little... well, yeah. see above.
...
I'm not going to sugar coat this at all... I do not like Alabama.
It's not fun.
I asked someone what's fun to do around here and I was told to watch High School Football on Friday nights.
Really?
Is this Texas?
I can't do it.
Maybe it's because I haven't found my Place here... In Gainesville it was the Ale House. In Tampa it was... well.. the Ale House and then DB's... oh how I miss DB's. And the Gainesville Ale House for that matter. Well, not the GAH itself, just the people and the good times there. The problem is that the places I went here were all full of smoke... and everyone seemed to know everyone else from High School. Bars full of good ol' boys and country strong girls. Yeah, that's right. More of them are Country Strong than Country Sweet...
But I'm still new here.
Maybe I'm just not seeing this place for what it is.
Maybe quaint is what I am, not what I ain't.
I'm going to give it time.
I'm going to give it a fair chance.
It's definitely not starting off on the right foot, though, I'll tell you that right now.
...
Anyways... my foot is asleep. I'm sitting on the floor since I still don't have my furniture yet and I can't decide on a freakin' couch. I'm thinking I might kidnap a girl from work and have her come furniture shopping with me and pick me out a couch since I certainly can't seem to pick one out for myself.
but, yeah. foot. asleep. not good. finishing blog.
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