Fifteen.

So, last night's story doesn't really tell you quite how bizzare the dating scene was for me when I was younger. Let me try a different story...

Take a step with me into the Way Back Machine and let's travel to the year 1996. For all you young people reading this, I need you to use your imagination a little bit. I need you to picture a world without the internet. I know, I know... How could there be a world without instant pornography? Trust me, it was a terrible, terrible place. A friend of mine was pulled out of public school by his parents to be home-schooled, so to communicate with each other we were forced to discover the wonderful world of the BBS (Bulletin Board System.) The BBS we joined was run by our local newspaper. According to Wikipedia, a BBS is a computer system running software that allows users to connect and log in to the system using a terminal program. Each BBS would have anywhere from a single access line to ten or so lines to dial in to. So basically, what would happen is this: we would dial in to the BBS using our old-school-analog-modems and post bulletins on forums or even join chat rooms with local residents where we could discuss local news and events. What would really happen, though, was completely different.

Most of the kids (under the age of 21) would be in one chat room while most of hte adults would be in another. There were a few of us, though, that would transcend that age barrier. I was accepted in both the kids' room and the adults' room even though I was only 15. That was where I met Teresa. Normally I change people's names to protect the innocent, but not this time. For some reason whenever I try and think of a fake name for her, Teresa is the only name that comes to mind... so... T is who'll she'll be.

T was in her mid- to upper-twenties, married and with two kids. She was cool. I would post crappy teen-angsty poetry and she would tell me how great it was. She would start each night in the kids' chat room until more adults logged on, then move over to the grown up talk. The funny part was that most of the conversations were pretty similar... the adults just used bigger words.

That summer after my junior year of high school I was on the BBS at least every other night. I would go out with my friends after dinner and we would hang out until midnight or so, then I would head home and plop onto the BBS and talk with that crew until... well... who knew. Sometimes it would be an hour, sometimes we would talk until the sun came up. No school, no worries. The cool thing was T was right there with me most of those nights.

Over that summer I got to know her pretty well. Extremely well. I heard all sorts of stories about her job as a nurse at the local hospital. She told me about what it was like for her growing up in Indiana. I told her about all my teenager issues and she'd just listen and give me impartial advice. If I was ever being stupid, she had absolutely no problem telling me. After a while, she even started talking to me about some of her problems. I know what you're thinking... Why would an adult look to a kid for advice? There must be something wrong with her... Well... that's not really how it was. What you have to bear in mind is that we were not meeting in person. It was only on the BBS and my writing style really hasn't evolved that much over the years. So while I really was young, sometimes it was hard to tell.

After a few weeks of chatting, T's husband decided to log on every once in a while. He started talking with me, and I was more than happy to chat back. He was T's husband, he had to be cool, right? I was too young at the time to realize that he was just jealous. Extremely jealous. He wasn't logging in to take up his wife's new hobby, he was there to spy on her. One night while T"s husband was out with friends, she told me that she wasn't happy anymore. We talked for a long time that night. Well, SHE talked for a long time that night. I was just there to listen.

Fast forward another few weeks. In that time a bunch of us from the BBS organized a picnic where we could all meet and hang out nd have fun in person instead of just in a chat room. We decided on a neutral location - a park just on the boarder of the two cities the BBS was host to. We had about 20 people say they would definitely make it and about 20 or so maybes. It looked like it would be a pretty solid gathering.

There was only one catch for me to be able to show up. I needed a ride. I was still just 15. No driver's license. Turns out that I was on the way for T, so she offered to give me a lift. Unfortunately T's husband couldn't make it out to the picnic. Shucks. Neither T nor I were disappointed. The guy was pretty much an ass.

Once at the park, T and I parted ways: she went with the adults and I went off with the kiddies (there's a whole other story in here, but maybe I'll tell you that one tomorrow.) Once the grill started going, everyone gathered together to talk and eat and talk and eat and drink and talk and... well.. you get it. As more and more people at their food and went back to playing Frisbee or throwing around the football or whatever else it was that they were doing that afternoon, those of us who stayed at the tables moved closer and closer together and gossipped. Slowly our numbers dwindled and eventually it was just T and I. We sat there, just the two of us, for an hour or so. We were just talking. Joking around. Generally just enjoying being able to talk to each other face to face instead of through a keyboard. Eventually, though, I got pulled away (I will definitely tell you that story some night...)

As teh sun dipped below the tree line, the party was declared officially over. We packed up all of our things and said our goodbyes as if there was a chance we'd never see any of these people again. It's a good thing, too, because I really didn't see a lot of those people ever again. I mean, we'd talk almost every night, but we never rounded up a group like we did that day.

The drive back to my place was mostly quiet as we were each absorbed in our own thoughts spurred by all of the day's happenings. It wasn't until we were back in my driveway that we really started talking again. She told me which of the adult's rumors were true and I filled her in on what was going on with the younger crowd and we joked about who would be dating now that they'd met face to face and we compared what we thought people would look like to what they were actually like in person. Eventually, though, there was a silence between us. A slight pause between laughs.

She said that she really had to get going...

I told her that I was so glad to put a beautiful face to that name on my computer screen...

She leaned over to give me a hug goodnight.

Just as she was beginning to let go, though, I turned to give her a kiss on the cheek. She was doing the same thing. Both of us had our eyes closed.

I felt my lips touch hers.

Just barely.

I opened my eyes and her face was just an inch away from mine. Her eyes were still closed.

Our lips were just barely touching and I didn't know what to do. I mean, I knew what I wanted to do... but...

I know it was just a fraction of a second, but it felt like an eternity. Do I kiss her or no? A thousand thoughts ran through my head and just as I felt her begin to move, I leaned in towards her.

It wasn't a deep, passionate kiss, but it was still one I will never forget. Her lips, soft and sticky from her lipstick, pressed against mine.

After the kiss, she pulled back and smiled at me.

We said goodnight and I watched her from my front porch as she drove away.

I stood there for a little while before going inside--collecting my thoughts, waiting for my heart to stop pounding, waiting for the blood to rush back to Other parts of my body, waiting until I felt it was safe for me to take another step without fear of my legs giving out on me.

For Theresa I'm sure that was just a quick peck goodnight. For me, though... it was... amazing. I fell in love with her during that kiss. I would have done anything just to taste her lips one more time. Alas, it was not meant to be... afterall, I was still just 15...