My eyes are closed right now.
I'm laying on my couch.
The lights are off.
The music is low.
Deep breaths in and out.

The world moves in ways I don't even pretend to understand.

It's like a see-saw.
A yin and a yang.
As one moves up, the other moves down.
There's balance in it, though.
There is no tipping over.
There is a bottom, followed by a slow, steady rise up.
There is a peak followed by its inevitable drop back down.

It's about trying to makesure the good outweighs the bad.

....

on a completely unrelated note... I thnk I finally realized what My Type is... I dig smart chicks.
Scientists are sexy.
There's just something about a chick with a passion for what she does...
and and someone who wants to make more of this world, whether its through creation or discovery or understnading...
someone who can speak
and write
and listen
and understand....
That's what I'm looking for.
and if she's cute too... well...t hat's just even better....
...
looking forward to the future.

Worlds Apart

I would follow you from Maine to Spain

Even thought I know it ain't sane

The fire in my heart's fueled by propane

And all it needed was a little light

When you came by it was love at first sight

Now I think about you ever day and night

Even though I know it ain't right

...

She wakes up periodically and tells me to slow down, she doesn't like it when I drive this fast. As soon as she falls back asleep, I press my foot gradually down on the accelerator. I pick up speed slowly, a sudden acceleration would wake her up in a heartbeat. She doesn't even realize that the reason I'm speeding is because I'm tired. So tired.

Everything around me is becoming a blur and I just want to be home and in our bed. My bed. Any bed. She sleeps and dreams about tomorrow, while I drive and think about today. Things have changed between us. She doesn't see it because, well, she's asleep. I never saw it before because I just didn't want to. I chose to live my life with blinders on.

...

Everyone makes mistakes, but I don't think I'll ever understand why you had to be mine.

Sometimes I dream that I'm falling
or that I'm failing.
Sometimes I dream that I'm in Mexico
in a mariacci band.
I reach out to feed the wolves
as they nip away on my hand.
Chasing.
Chased.
Sometimes I dream like I'm falling
that I'm failing
And I'm just waiting for this dream to end.

i watch them walk
hand in hand

yesterday someone asked me what i thought about
life

i really didn't know what to say.

i thought about it for a while. i really did.

i felt around deep inside me trying to find something
trying to find some answer

i reached into my pockets and found nothing but change and lint.

i didn't have any answers.

i looked around me

the sights, the sounds.
the smell and the feel of the room around me.

none of this was life.

none of this held any answers.

i walked for days

there were too many people
too many places
there were too many things
too much space
too muchw waste

i looked around me
and
all
i
saw
was

I think I've managed to say everything I have in me to say already.

Apparently they're right... there's no such thing as an original idea anymore.

I guess I'll go back to watching Community.

oh well.

step
by step
walking in a memory
night
by night
dreaming away the pain you've given me
day
by day
praying that someday you'll set me free