Maybe the reason I haven't been sleeping well lately is because I haven't been writing. That's definitely a possibility. I have all these pent up words and they're fighting so hard to get out that my eyelids aren't strong enough to stay closed and keep them in... maybe.
...
So here's the deal. If I were to write our story out a million times it would go a million different ways, but each one would end the same way: with us growing old together.
...
I'm begining to need a cahnge again.
I need something
and I need it soon.
...
Have you ever seen the movie Yes Man? Well, I have... of course of I have... it has Zooey in it... Anyways... I think I'm going to do that on my next day off.
I'm just going to say Yes. Well, to anything within reason. If its possible for me to do it, I will. Or at least I'll try. I will Unleash The Power of Yes!
...
Girls poop.
When I was younger, I never thought about that. I mean guys talk about going to the bathroom. Some guys even show off what they've done to their younger brothers. And their younger brothers' friends. Guys go to "drop a duece," or "drop the kids off at the pool" or maybe they just go "read a magazine." Whatever you want to call it, we announce that we're doing it. Most girls don't do that.
It wasn't until I was older that I realized that girls fart. They poop. They do everything guys do, just more discretely.
I guess that's what it all boils down to, then, doesn't it? The fundamental difference between the sexes is that men are brought up to be proud of their bodies while women are taught to be ashamed of them.
...
This morning, my little cousin asked me what it was like to be in love. The kid is only 11, so I wasn't really sure how to describe the feeling to him in a way he would understand. So I told him it felt just like this... and then I smacked up upside the head.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
mmmm.....
So let me start by saying that I have not been sleeping very well lately.
That has definitely affected my thinking.
Everything is skewed a little bit towards the extremes right now.
Right now, though
Right this very now
All I can think about is you.
I know that I've told you that you are amazing
And I'm pretty sure that you believe me.
You do.
I know you do.
Because you can't help but know its true.
I feel right now
Just like I did back then
Only more
So much more.
Its still a sort of puppy love
But that's just because thats how I love
Like a puppy.
With lots of tongue. :)p
So let me start by saying that I have not been sleeping very well lately.
That has definitely affected my thinking.
Everything is skewed a little bit towards the extremes right now.
Right now, though
Right this very now
All I can think about is you.
I know that I've told you that you are amazing
And I'm pretty sure that you believe me.
You do.
I know you do.
Because you can't help but know its true.
I feel right now
Just like I did back then
Only more
So much more.
Its still a sort of puppy love
But that's just because thats how I love
Like a puppy.
With lots of tongue. :)p
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
its been way too long.
I haven't been writing lately. And I can't really say for sure exactly what I've been doing instead... watching movies? sleeping? Going out? I dunno... I guess it doesn't really matter why NOT, all that really matters is that I'm not.
I am now, though.
sorta.
I haven't actually said anything yet, have I?
I've just been rambling.
Nothing new there, though, right?
Right.
So, here's the thing. I want something new.
I know exactly what I want, but I can't have her, so... I'm stuck.
I've been in this position before and I know exactly what I did and I know exactly how it turned out and I don't plan on doing that again.
But...
There's always a but...
But this time its different!
I sound like an abused spouse... I swear, its different this time!
But it is.
I'm not allowing myself to go too far. I'm not going all in.
Trust me, though, I would if I could... I can't, though, so I won't.
I do want something, though, so I'm going to work on that.
And that's why I havent' been writing.
I need something in order to be able to write.
I need that kick
That inspiration.
I need Her.
My muse.
In the meantime, though, I'll try and see what I can do without Her.
I haven't been writing lately. And I can't really say for sure exactly what I've been doing instead... watching movies? sleeping? Going out? I dunno... I guess it doesn't really matter why NOT, all that really matters is that I'm not.
I am now, though.
sorta.
I haven't actually said anything yet, have I?
I've just been rambling.
Nothing new there, though, right?
Right.
So, here's the thing. I want something new.
I know exactly what I want, but I can't have her, so... I'm stuck.
I've been in this position before and I know exactly what I did and I know exactly how it turned out and I don't plan on doing that again.
But...
There's always a but...
But this time its different!
I sound like an abused spouse... I swear, its different this time!
But it is.
I'm not allowing myself to go too far. I'm not going all in.
Trust me, though, I would if I could... I can't, though, so I won't.
I do want something, though, so I'm going to work on that.
And that's why I havent' been writing.
I need something in order to be able to write.
I need that kick
That inspiration.
I need Her.
My muse.
In the meantime, though, I'll try and see what I can do without Her.
Friday, September 9, 2011
a scene
The curtain rises on a dark stage.
A woman screams in frustration.
A man's voice, coming from the opposite end of the stage chuckes and says "Honey..." in a calming tone.
A glass shatters on the man's side of the stage.
The stage lights come up, slowly, to reveal the scene.
A woman stands with her back facing the audience. She is wearing a little black dress. Her hair is slightly tussled. A man is standing opposite her, facing the audience. He is dressed in a tux, though his bowtie is undone and his shirt is untucked. There is not much furniture on the stage. The woman is standing next to a table. A high top surrounded by four chairs. There are a number of wine glasses on the table, some knocked over, as well as several empty bottles of wine. The man is standing behind a large recliner, taking cover. The man and the woman each has a spotlight on them, but the rest of the scene remains fairly dark.
The woman lets out another cry of frustration and heaves another glass at the man.
He dodges out of the way as the glass explodes against the wall beside him. As it does, the woman lets out a giggle.
Man (still calm) : Hey, hey hey! Let me explain!
Woman (loudly) : You Can't Just --
Man: Not to you. To them. Let me explain to them...
The man guestures to the audience. The woman turns to see who the man is talking about and recognizes the presence of the audience.
Woman (exhasperated) : Fine!
She throws her hands up in the air in frustration and makes her way to sit in the recliner. As she does this, the Man makes his way towards the front, center of the stage. As the two pass each other, the man attempts to pull the woman by her hips in to him for a kiss, but she spins deftly out of his reach and plops gracefully into the chair, giggling away. The Man shakes his head and smiles as he reaches center stage.
Man: It wasn't always like this. We used to love each other--
Woman: We still love each other
Man: Ok, fine. We still love each other. But it used to be different
Woman: Much different
Man: Fine. We love each other, but it used to be much different
Woman: Better.
Man: Better. Wait. Better?
(He looks over his shoulder at the Woman, to find her smiling back)
Woman: Different.
Man (looking back towards the audience, smiling) : So as I was saying... We love each other. We always have and
(takes a peek back at the Woman)
Man: and we always will. It used to be different, though. Less of these types of fireworks...
(He picks up one of the wine glasses off the table and hurls it at the wall above the Woman. As the glass shatters above her, the Woman lets out a short scream followed by laughter)
Man: and more of these types of fireworks...
(The man turns and runs towards the woman, he drops to his knees and slides towards her. As he does so, the woman pulls her feet up onto the chair and giggles. when the man reaches her, he springs to his feet, lifting her off the chair. She screams again, laughing as he spins her around the room in his arms. they're both laughing. he puts her back down in the chair and them moves behind her, behind the chair, standing over her. He leans down.)
Man: Do you remeber when we first met?
Woman: Nope. I've completely blocked that from my mind.
Man: Well I haven't...
(The stage lights go on all the way to reveal the rest of the stage. It is a high school classroom. The teacher is standing at a chalkboard on the far right of the stage, facing the left. The desks are in three rows of four, heading back towards the left side of the stage where the Man and the Woman are seated. All the desks are filled except one. The corner desk, at center stage. All the students are talking excitedly as the teacher writes on the chalkboard. As the bell starts ringing, all the students settle down and face the teacher.)
Teacher: Welcome to Contemporary Lit. I believe I have had every single one of you before, but just in case you've forgotten over the summer, I am--
(A boy comes bursting in to the room. He quickly takes a look around the room. He sees the last empty desk and rushes in to it.)
Teacher (obviously annoyed) : I am Mr. McCourt. And you, sir, are late.
Woman (from her spot in the chair) : You were always late.
Man: Hush now, I'm trying to tell a story here....
....
And that's the start of my play. So the whole thing unfolds like that. The couple tell the story of what took them from meeting in high school to the event that leads them to throwing wine glasses at each other; making amusing comments and interuptions the entire time.
What do you think?
A woman screams in frustration.
A man's voice, coming from the opposite end of the stage chuckes and says "Honey..." in a calming tone.
A glass shatters on the man's side of the stage.
The stage lights come up, slowly, to reveal the scene.
A woman stands with her back facing the audience. She is wearing a little black dress. Her hair is slightly tussled. A man is standing opposite her, facing the audience. He is dressed in a tux, though his bowtie is undone and his shirt is untucked. There is not much furniture on the stage. The woman is standing next to a table. A high top surrounded by four chairs. There are a number of wine glasses on the table, some knocked over, as well as several empty bottles of wine. The man is standing behind a large recliner, taking cover. The man and the woman each has a spotlight on them, but the rest of the scene remains fairly dark.
The woman lets out another cry of frustration and heaves another glass at the man.
He dodges out of the way as the glass explodes against the wall beside him. As it does, the woman lets out a giggle.
Man (still calm) : Hey, hey hey! Let me explain!
Woman (loudly) : You Can't Just --
Man: Not to you. To them. Let me explain to them...
The man guestures to the audience. The woman turns to see who the man is talking about and recognizes the presence of the audience.
Woman (exhasperated) : Fine!
She throws her hands up in the air in frustration and makes her way to sit in the recliner. As she does this, the Man makes his way towards the front, center of the stage. As the two pass each other, the man attempts to pull the woman by her hips in to him for a kiss, but she spins deftly out of his reach and plops gracefully into the chair, giggling away. The Man shakes his head and smiles as he reaches center stage.
Man: It wasn't always like this. We used to love each other--
Woman: We still love each other
Man: Ok, fine. We still love each other. But it used to be different
Woman: Much different
Man: Fine. We love each other, but it used to be much different
Woman: Better.
Man: Better. Wait. Better?
(He looks over his shoulder at the Woman, to find her smiling back)
Woman: Different.
Man (looking back towards the audience, smiling) : So as I was saying... We love each other. We always have and
(takes a peek back at the Woman)
Man: and we always will. It used to be different, though. Less of these types of fireworks...
(He picks up one of the wine glasses off the table and hurls it at the wall above the Woman. As the glass shatters above her, the Woman lets out a short scream followed by laughter)
Man: and more of these types of fireworks...
(The man turns and runs towards the woman, he drops to his knees and slides towards her. As he does so, the woman pulls her feet up onto the chair and giggles. when the man reaches her, he springs to his feet, lifting her off the chair. She screams again, laughing as he spins her around the room in his arms. they're both laughing. he puts her back down in the chair and them moves behind her, behind the chair, standing over her. He leans down.)
Man: Do you remeber when we first met?
Woman: Nope. I've completely blocked that from my mind.
Man: Well I haven't...
(The stage lights go on all the way to reveal the rest of the stage. It is a high school classroom. The teacher is standing at a chalkboard on the far right of the stage, facing the left. The desks are in three rows of four, heading back towards the left side of the stage where the Man and the Woman are seated. All the desks are filled except one. The corner desk, at center stage. All the students are talking excitedly as the teacher writes on the chalkboard. As the bell starts ringing, all the students settle down and face the teacher.)
Teacher: Welcome to Contemporary Lit. I believe I have had every single one of you before, but just in case you've forgotten over the summer, I am--
(A boy comes bursting in to the room. He quickly takes a look around the room. He sees the last empty desk and rushes in to it.)
Teacher (obviously annoyed) : I am Mr. McCourt. And you, sir, are late.
Woman (from her spot in the chair) : You were always late.
Man: Hush now, I'm trying to tell a story here....
....
And that's the start of my play. So the whole thing unfolds like that. The couple tell the story of what took them from meeting in high school to the event that leads them to throwing wine glasses at each other; making amusing comments and interuptions the entire time.
What do you think?
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
August? Really?
I can't believe this month is almost over.
I have a birthday in a week in a half.
This will be my first birthday in quite some time that I won't be celebrating in Vegas.
That makes me sad.
Honestly, it breaks my heart more than just a little bit.
At first, it didn't really bother me... I mean, I'm still going to celebrate Davetember in style... Just not Big Baller Style.
This isn't going to be my big, introspective look at the year that has passed... but... looking back at all the decisions I've made over the last few years that have ultimate lead me to be in the position I'm in... well... I'm not sure Present Me agrees with some of the stuff Past Me decided to do.
They say that everything in life happens for a reason, though... but really, who the fuck are "they" and where do they get their information?
I saw, when life gives you lemons, suck it up and eat 'em if that's all you've got. Sure, you'll make that goofball sourpuss face for a few, but really, having lemons is better than not having anything at all, right?
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Something About Women That Bugs the Crap Out of Me
Ok... so I realize that with the title above, the subject of this blog is pretty vague. There is one thing that has been top of mind lately, though. And that is dreams.
Not so much the dreams themselves... What happens in a dream is completely out of anybody's control. What kills me, though, is when a women gets upset at me for something I did or did not do in their dream.
Seriously, ladies... If I had any control over what I was doing in your dreams it would certainly NOT be whatever it was that would lead you to be pissed off at me.
I had this one X who's subconscious thought very little of me. I can't tell you how many times she had dreams about me killing her (I think that was from watching too much Dexter) or abandoning her in strange places (too much LOST) or cheating on her (no clue where that one came from...) And each time she would have one of those bad dreams she would be pissed at me the entire next day. It was ridiculous.
She wasn't the only one, either. There have been others. And each time it happens, there's nothing to do but throw my hands up in the air in frustration and appologize for my dream-self.
My question is, why doesn't it ever work the other way? Why can't I get me a little mornin' lovin' when I do something awesome in a dream? C'mon, ladies... I'm sure for every misdeed I may do in a dream there's at least one good thing. I'm not all bad, am I?
If there were some good to counterbalance the bad, I would be much more inclined to accept whatever fate the dreamworld had for me... but if it's just the bad? Well that just isn't fair...
On a side note: I shouldn't drink coffee after 9pm. Especially if its been a while since I've had caffine. Wooooooooodiggity, its 1:35am!!
Not so much the dreams themselves... What happens in a dream is completely out of anybody's control. What kills me, though, is when a women gets upset at me for something I did or did not do in their dream.
Seriously, ladies... If I had any control over what I was doing in your dreams it would certainly NOT be whatever it was that would lead you to be pissed off at me.
I had this one X who's subconscious thought very little of me. I can't tell you how many times she had dreams about me killing her (I think that was from watching too much Dexter) or abandoning her in strange places (too much LOST) or cheating on her (no clue where that one came from...) And each time she would have one of those bad dreams she would be pissed at me the entire next day. It was ridiculous.
She wasn't the only one, either. There have been others. And each time it happens, there's nothing to do but throw my hands up in the air in frustration and appologize for my dream-self.
My question is, why doesn't it ever work the other way? Why can't I get me a little mornin' lovin' when I do something awesome in a dream? C'mon, ladies... I'm sure for every misdeed I may do in a dream there's at least one good thing. I'm not all bad, am I?
If there were some good to counterbalance the bad, I would be much more inclined to accept whatever fate the dreamworld had for me... but if it's just the bad? Well that just isn't fair...
On a side note: I shouldn't drink coffee after 9pm. Especially if its been a while since I've had caffine. Wooooooooodiggity, its 1:35am!!
Sunday, July 31, 2011
I close my eyes and I squeeze them tight
and she was a rocket
and i had a parachute
and i was ready to hang on
for as long as i possibly could
...
you with your switchblade posse
i'll get my guns from the south
...
Ok, so here's the thing:
The thing.
...
Seriously, though, there is something there.
... well, not THERE as in, where I just typed, but its there
somewhere
so I guess I'll just let it out.
I'm in like.
Not love.
Like.
As in, I'm kinda smitten.
Like a kitten.
Only not.
There's a catch, though. There always is with me.
Always.
This one's a repeat, though.
That's new.
Usually I pick different ways to fall for the wrong people. This time, though... this time its something I've done before.
That's right, I've become smitten with someone who lives on the wrong coast.
The west coast.
argh.
Very frustrating.
Very.
Here's the thing, though:
The thing.
Ok... it wasn't funny the first time and it certainly wasn't funny this time, but I did it again.
Like I was saying, though, before I interupted myself... this one is different. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "they're all different. we've been down this road before..." but..
but..
but...
this time she really IS different.
She's the most random person I've ever met. In a good way.
She's.. well.. I don't want to get into that, because there's always a chance, no matter how slight, that she'll end up reading this....
So lets just say that I think she's neat-O.
And right about now, as I'm laying here in bed, hardly able to keep my eyes open... I would give just about anything in the world to have her by my side.
Unfortunately that is not going to happen so I'm just going to have to curl up in bed, maybe listen to some Mumford & Sons and hope I drift away to sleep where I can dream some happy, happy dreams... unless she calls, then I'll go for a 4 mile stroll around my neighborhood in the middle of the night.
I'm hoping for the stroll.
and i had a parachute
and i was ready to hang on
for as long as i possibly could
...
you with your switchblade posse
i'll get my guns from the south
...
Ok, so here's the thing:
The thing.
...
Seriously, though, there is something there.
... well, not THERE as in, where I just typed, but its there
somewhere
so I guess I'll just let it out.
I'm in like.
Not love.
Like.
As in, I'm kinda smitten.
Like a kitten.
Only not.
There's a catch, though. There always is with me.
Always.
This one's a repeat, though.
That's new.
Usually I pick different ways to fall for the wrong people. This time, though... this time its something I've done before.
That's right, I've become smitten with someone who lives on the wrong coast.
The west coast.
argh.
Very frustrating.
Very.
Here's the thing, though:
The thing.
Ok... it wasn't funny the first time and it certainly wasn't funny this time, but I did it again.
Like I was saying, though, before I interupted myself... this one is different. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "they're all different. we've been down this road before..." but..
but..
but...
this time she really IS different.
She's the most random person I've ever met. In a good way.
She's.. well.. I don't want to get into that, because there's always a chance, no matter how slight, that she'll end up reading this....
So lets just say that I think she's neat-O.
And right about now, as I'm laying here in bed, hardly able to keep my eyes open... I would give just about anything in the world to have her by my side.
Unfortunately that is not going to happen so I'm just going to have to curl up in bed, maybe listen to some Mumford & Sons and hope I drift away to sleep where I can dream some happy, happy dreams... unless she calls, then I'll go for a 4 mile stroll around my neighborhood in the middle of the night.
I'm hoping for the stroll.
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