Lasagna

Stuff:

sauce:
1 cans tomato sauce
1 can tomato paste
1 can diced tomato
1/2 lb ground beef
2 dried bay leaves
handfull of fresh oregano, parsley, whatever herbs you thing would rock your tongue
1 lb spicy italian sausage (not in casing)
Some garlic, preferably fresh
1/2 white onion
some olive oil
bunch of mushrooms. I recommend portabello. I also recommend sauteeing 'shrooms in red wine. Not a must, but its nice.
sugar

pasta:
1 thingie of lasagna noodles.

Cheese:
1 lb shredded mozzerella
large container of ricotta cheese, I don't remember the size. I always think I buy the wrong one, but it always ends up working out
1 egg
more fresh parsley, if you've got it

What to do with the stuff:

sauce: finely chop the herbs. chop the onion relatively fine. chop the shrooms. chop the garlic. Unload the contents of all the cans into a large pot and mix that shit up nice and good. Turn the burner on low, just because. If you're going to sautee the shrooms in the wine, do that now. Put all the chopped shrooms into a pan with a wee bit of olive oil. Then pour in enough red wine to cover the bottom of the pan. Then pour in a little more. Then pour yourself a glass, cooking should be fun! Cook the shroom until about 2/3 of the wine is gone. From the pan, not your glass. If you finish your glass, just refill. Once the wine is mostly cooked off from the shrooms, they should be done. Throw that whole mess into the pot with the tomato stuff and stir. Now throw a little more olive oil into the pan and chuck in the garlic. Let that do its thing for about 5 minutes, then throw in the onions. Now let that do its thing for another 5 minutes or so. We're looking to carmelize those onions, so, yeah. When they look good, throw 'em in the pot! Now brown the beef and the sausage and throw those into the pot. Next add whatever herbs you want as well as the bay leaves. Stir. Let that amazingness simmer for, like, 4 hours.

That's right. 4 hours. You can let it simmer for less time, but the longer you let it go, the better it will be. Trust me.

After about an hour or so, you'll want to taste the sauce. Soemtimes it can be very acidic. If so, add some sugar to taste.

Cheese: Mix the ricotta, egg and parsley together. That's it.

Pasta: Sometime while the sauce is cooking, I pre-cook the lasagna noodles a little bit. Not a lot, just enough to make 'em flexible. they'll cook all the way while its in the oven.

Construction:

Cover the bottom of a glass pyrex dish with a little bit of sauce, then layer noodles, meatsauce, ricotta, mozzerella. Then do it again. Noodles, sauce, ricotta, mozzerella. That should finish off the ricotta. If not, you didn't do it right. Throw on your last layer of noodles. If you have any ricotta left, use it now. Then the rest of your sauce, then a thin layer of mozerella. I usually have sauce left over. It's delicious. Make sloppy joes or something. Oh, btw, you should have preheated your oven to, like, 350 or so. Now that your oven is preheated, cook the lasagna for about 20-30 minutes or so. Remember how I told you to put a thin layer of mozerella on the top? The reason you did a thin layer before is because now you're going to load it on. That's right. Load that thing up with cheese! Now throw it back in the oven for another 10 minutes! I usually crank the oven up to 500 for those last few minutes so that top layer of cheese gets nice and crisp.

Now, here's the part I never think to do because, at this point, you're starving, tipsy and it just smells sooooo good. Let the thing sit for about 5-10 minutes. If you don't, it'll serve a sloppy mess. If you let it sit, though, it'll hold much better when you serve it and actually look like a lasagna.

Enjoy!

I can love deeply, move mountains, and bring the star down for you from the sky, yet have a hard time expressing my feelings and seem like I'm hiding behind a wall
...
its funny how strange things seem somehow even more strange when you think about them at 2 in the morning
...
there's something out there, in the cold night, that's constantly pulling at me; trying to draw me out, but to where I do not know
...
head first
head strong
head on
just so long as we're moving on
One foot
in front of the other
...
I'm totally baffled by the opposite sex.
Not sure if you guys have noticed that from all of my ramblings, but its true.
Most times this is ok because... well... its the norm. I'm used to it. What kills me, though, is when I THINK I know what's going on and it turns out I am 100% wrong.
one hundred
percent
wrong.

Seriously. I think this should be a class in high school. Understanding the Opposite Sex. My goodness... talk about an essential life skill. I'd put it right up there with Economics. At the very least make it a section of Health class. You could put it just between the pregnancy stuff and the std stuff that way its surrounded by scariness so, hopefully, the kids won't start practicing too early.

Necessary life skill, though. Unfortunately Understanding the Opposite Sex is not a skill I have.

...

For so many years Racquetball was my outlet. My way to let out steam. Being trapped in that box just wailing on that little blue ball. Running. Crashing. Diving. All the while hitting that racquetball as hard as I could. It was good for me. All my pent up... well... pent up everything could be left on that court in a mixture of sweat and blood. I could leave the court completely drained of everything. I'd go home, shower, and emerge a fresh man in every way you can think of.

dashboard confessions

I'm not sure I've ever done this before.
In fact... I'm downright positive that I haven't.

I'm blogging with someone else in the room.

Its weird.

I feel like I'm being an exhibitionist. Like I'm letting someone see the most private part of me that there is.

I know that's silly. Everything I write I put out in the most public place there is for all the world to see. I don't really edit before I publish anything. I just write it and post it. 99% unfiltered. So why does it feel like I'm so exposed right now?

I guess its just the process.

No one's seen me write before.

Well....

I guess that still holds true.

My roommate is passed out in the recliner next to me. We were watching Stranger Than Fiction. And by "we were watching" what I really mean is that I watched it while he fell asleep 2 minutes in. He's been sleeping ever since.

I like that movie. Stranger Than Fiction. I like it a lot. It makes me wonder about how I write and what I write and what affect my writing has on the world.

It makes me wonder what I would write if I knew that everything I typed turned out to be true in someone stranger's life.

It also makes me wonder how my story is going to go. Comedy or tragedy? I realize that story hasn't been written yet, but everything I say, everything I do adds a sentence or a page or a chapter to that story. Where does it all lead?

It also makes me wonder what it would look like to go back and read all the pages that have passed. Once again, Comedy or tragedy? Some days its hard to tell which it is. Taken in its entirety, though, how does My Story read?

...

And on a completely different note....

I kind of want to tell you the story of a girl.

Actually, scratch that.

I really want to tell you.

The problem is that I still don't know how that one is going to go.

Well...

((for those of you not In The Know, that's how I start to say a majority of my goodbye's in on line conversations. I'll say something "the problem is that I still don't know how that one is going to go" and then I'll go "Well..." and then usually finish it off with "its time for me to hit the sack" or "its time for me to pass out" or "I'm sleep-E." Tonight, though, I think I"m going to go old school.))

Peace out and eat your vegetables, peeps!

Repeat: Female Vocalist

I was thinking about this earlier today... How hot would it hot would it be to date a singer? She wouldn't have to be famous or even a performer, really. Those would just be bonuses. Watching her sing a song on stage and knowing she was singing ti to me... That would be so hot.

But even if she weren't a performer and she just had a solid singing voice and enjoyed doing it... mmmm... She would inspire me to write, and my writing would inspire her to sing. We'd be like Sonny and Cher, except not as cheesy. And I wouldn't sing. Well... Ok... Lets be honest here. I'd still be cheesy, but she wouldn't have to be.

She'd sing me a song and I'd say the white guy equivilant of "Damn girl, you fine!" which would probably be something like, "my goodness, young female, you look quite nice this fine, summer evening." But whatever came out, it would be the right thing to say.

Cold Rain

I could hear it raining outside. The drops steadily beating against the window. I can barely tell if my eyes were open or closed. The darkness was like another person, lying there with me. I could feel it pressing against up against me, wrapping her cold arms around me, slowly drawing me in. But then I felt something else. Warmth. An arm resting across my chest. Hot breath on my shoulder. Its not like I had forgotten you were there, I just thought it had all been a dream.

I was smiling. I thought it had been a dream, but there you were. I took your hand to my lips and gave each of your fingertips a small kiss. You moved your body closer to mine, still sound asleep. I could feel you purring softly up against me and, slowly, I fell back asleep.

...

Trust me.
I know.
Sometimes I can be a bit... much.
I know this.
100%.
I like to think its part of my charm. My neuroses. Whatever you want to call it.
Its who I am.
This is also something I can't really change.
I can reign it in a little... but really, I don't want to.
I think its fun.
To be head-over-heels in love?
Yeah... that's the bee's knees, my friends.
I look forward to that.
To be all in.
That's my jam.
yeah....

Here's the thing, though.
Actually.
Nevermind.
...reigning it in.

Bandito Loco

Pumpkin: [Standing up with a gun] All right, everybody be cool, this is a robbery!



Honey Bunny: Any of you fucking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of ya!

Motive: I need a little extra cash for the move across country. Not a lot... but a little.

The Research: Did some light reading on The Geezer Bandit currently making his rounds across SoCal. That lead me to look into capture rates and average hauls as well as specific training bank employees have around robberies. I also read lots of stories about people getting caught--I mean, the best way to learn how to succeed is by learning how to fail, right? And since, in this case, failing leads to jail, I can't really afford to fail my self, so I'll have to learn by reading how others have failed before me. I also read several success stories. Most of those successes shared one commonality: They were one-time events, not attempts at a crime spree, in which the robber moved quickly and quietly and then disappeared.

The Plan:

1. Purchase a microwave and several car batteries in the backseat of my car (to be used later).

2. Tape up my rear window as well as a passenger window. Also cover the roof of my car. This will allow me to change the appearance of my vehicle quickly as well as cover identifiable marks (gator head in my rear window)

3. Dress appropriately. Hoodie, wig, fake facial hair, fake other-identifiable-mark-like-a-tatoo.

4. Rob bank. Calmly approach teller, hand them a note politely requesting $20,000. Whisper "Give me the money or I. Will. Murder. You." The key is to do it calmly and quietly while aslo emphasizing those last four words. Saying, "give me all the money or I'll kill you" is too trite--too hollywood. Saying "I will murder you" is much more intense and violent. Think about it. Once the money is in the bag, just calmly walk out the door.

5. This is where the microwave comes into play. There are banks out there that put tracking devices as well as dye in with the money. By throwing the bag into the microwave for a few minutes all electronic devices should fry, thus eliminating the tracking devices. I have no clue if this would disable the dye, but if it did, bonus! if not... well, i was getting screwed there anyways, right?

6. Leave the scene. Drive away calmly and pull into the nearest parking garage/apartment complex/generic location as possible to remove the window coverings from the car. Also take the money out of the microwave and search it for trackers/dye/etc. Ditch those devices if necessary.

7. Don't rob another bank. End my life of crime. The best way to not get caught robbing a bank is simply to Not Rob A Bank. The second best way not to get caught is to Not Rob Another Bank. I'm not doing this to become a career criminal after all... this is just a one time thing to supliment my income for my move. I figure I'll do it in a state where I have no ties. Louisiana or something. Somewhere I won't go back to anytime in the forseeable future. Certainly not somewhere I live or plan on living.

...

Disclaimer: I have never nor do I plan on ever robbing a bank. This has been a complete work of fiction. If you are reading this and thinking, "hmmm... I wonder if this guy is the bank robber we're looking for..." I urge you to read the rest of my blog for two reasons. 1: you might enjoy it. 2: you would realize that I am smart enough not to post a plan of a bank robbery I was about to commit on the internet and then to Facebook. Unless this extreme disclosure of my plans is just a clever ploy to throw you off my trail! After all, who in their right minds would post their bank robbery plans on Facebook! no one! this COULDN'T possibly be the guy!!

Confidence Game

I've learned a lot about myself over the last few weeks.

Normally I am very self conscious. I am. Its true. I'm an incredibly shy person who, most times, doesn't think much of himself.

I know it doesn't seem like it most of the time and I certainly know that is NOT how I should think... but it is.

The reason I end up being so social is because I like to push myself. I enjoy doing things that scare the crap out of me. I mean, I'm scare shitless doing it... but... I do it because I know I shouldn't be scared.

Does any of that make sense?

Its like heights. I'm afraid of heights yet, a few years ago, walked to the edge of a cliff. Fear gripped my heart and I was drenched in sweat, but I did it anyway because I knew there was nothing I should be afraid of. Same thing at work. I'll take the lift 20 feet into the air to pull down a TV even though I'm so scared that I can't move my feet once I'm off the ground. I'm afraid, but I shouldn't be, so I do it anyway.

woah

where was I going with this?

Oh yeah... confidence.

I don't usually have it.

I might talk big game sometimes, but that's all it is.... talk.

There are some things that bring out extreme confidence in me, though.

Two things.

Racquetball and Spades.

I wish the two things were, like, talking to women and job interviews... but no.

Racuqetball and Spades.

This weekend we played a game of Spades and, even though my team was losing at the time, I was sure we were going to win. There was no doubt in my mind, even as the other team was doubling us in points, that my team would win. That I would win. Everyone in the room knew it, too. Trust me, I let them know. I talked non-stop for about an hour.... just spewing shit because I knew that no matter what the current situation was, I would win.

I did win, by the way. My team did, anyways. I couldn't have done it without the hard work of The Team.

I had such confidence that it was gushing out of me. It was a good time.

I just wish I could be like that all the time.

There's really no reason that I can't be. I mean, its obviously in me... I'm just scared when I'm not in my element.

That's something I should work on.

I've been saying that my whole life... but this time its different.

New beginings and all that jazz.

Wish me luck!