My feet are cold, but I'm thinking of you.

So here's what I'm thinking...
you and me.
lets run away together.
it doesn't matter where we go
but wherever it is
we can be together.
life doesn't have to be hard
it doesn't have to be complicated.
if i could have anything in the world right now
it would be you.
if i were living a dream
that dream would be with you.
i'm not sure you realize this,
but every time i hear your voice
my heart melts
and ever time i see your face
i lose any thought i may have had.
you are a precious treasure.
...
its true.
i don't make shit like that up.

Lets watch a movie together

Watching Romeo+Juliet. These are my random thoughts throughout the movie.

I'm 27 minutes in, so you don't get the first few thousand, but you'll get the rest.

Claire Danes is amazingly gorgeous. Paul Rudd is a tool. In this movie. He's awesome otherwise.... in this movie, though, not a fan.

I think this movie made me really love love. It was all a combination of Bill's words and Claire Danes being hawt and sweet and innocent and how young i was when I watched it.... All those things... and more, I'm sure.

Did my heart love 'til now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty 'til this night.

Right now things are... complicated. To say the least. You all know how I am... and right now... I just don't know what I want. I mean. I do. But I don't. I wish I did. I really do wish I did.

The problem is... I know exactly what I want. I just know that i shouldn't want what I want and I should be happy with what I have.... but....

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and she is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon who is already sick and pale with grief that thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.

and oh... she is fair. she is everything i could ever want. at least she is from what i can see. ay, that is the rub. for right now I can only see so much. a whole world could be hidden from me. i have a suspicion, though... i have this horrible, sneaking suspician that in this i am not wrong. i am so often wrong in such things i just.... i want. i need. i dream.

Oh, will you leave me so unsatisfied?

What satisfaction can you have tonight?

The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine

I am officially 48 minutes in to the movie and I'm already tired of typing.

21 minutes of rambling while I watch.

I certainly don't remember a boy's choir singing Prince. Did that just happen?

Oh, wait. It must have. There's Michael from LOST again. The whole world is upside down. At least he's not wearing a dress this time.

The soundtrack! The hits just keep coming... that's right Everclear!

Oh shit.

Lovefool.

I think this movie is why I liked that song.

mmmm... Claire Danes.... She was my Zooey.

Right now, Zooey is my Zooey, though.

mmm.... Zooey.

Quirky makes me happy. That's come up in conversation a bunch of times lately... There's a fine line betwixt quirky and downright crazy. I have this tendency to allow that line to blurrrrrr in my mind, though. distracted by... I'm not sure, really. The want for something new, I suppose. The want for wanting. The need for needing.

Two random side notes: I'm in a hungry phase. Can't stop eating. Mmmmm... fooooood! To try and weather this storm in a slightly more healthy way than usual I have purchased a dozen yogurts, two boxes of cheery-Ohs and tomorrow I will purchase a dozen bagels, a loaf of bread and a pound or two of roasted turkey breast.

That was side note number one. The second thing that I wanted to mention was that it is now 2:46 in the A.M. and I just watched Romeo slay Tybalt. While I did thusly yawn, my eyes are still wide open. Sleep has been bansh'd and banishment is a fate worse than death for I cannot live out of fair Verona's walls.

Get Thee To A Nunery!

I realize that quote is not from this play... but... I think it whenever I think of Shakespear.

Well, that and "I Bite My Thumb At Thee" ... but that one is for a different reason. I remember when we were reading this play in high school... English, freshman year. I can't really tell you how it started but it did... This one girl, Kate and I used to bite our thumbs at each other. Every once in a while when we'd see each other, one of would just bite our thumbs and cry out, "I bite my thumb at thee!"

Shit's getting serious here. Juliet has to marry paul rudd. A worse fate their could not be. She said she'd rather die than marry paul rudd. paul rudd has no clue he's hated.

The plan is in place. She will be dead, but not. Four and Twenty hours she will lie in a state no better than death. But she will rise. And when she does she will find her Romeo by her side. This all shall be true, but not as she her guide has so planned.

He really should have just used BBM to msg Romeo.... at least then he would have known that his message never made it. Just sayin'.

There is inherent pain in love. If there is no pain, there is no love, for to be that vulnerable... there is no chance that a stray arrow will strike at thee. While it might not strike you down, it will most certainly bring you to your knees.

what light through yonder window breaks, 'tis the east and you... you are exactly what you are and I am exactly what I am.

And on that note I will watch Romeo drink his drink and I will watch Juliet take death from his lips

and knowing who i am

I will lean back and close my eyes

and dream

of stealing sleep

from her sweet kiss.

My Next Life

This is totally stollen from Woody Allen via Reddit, but I liked it, so I'm posting it for you guys to enjoy:

In my next life I want to live backwards.
You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.

You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You party, drink alcohol and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school.

You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, more room every day and then, BAM!

You finish off as an orgasm.

A Brand New Day

I've only seriously prayed to god for one thing in my entire life.

I prayed for that one, single thing every day for a long, long time.

Some nights I wonder what life would be like if that one prayer was answered. Where would I be? Who would I be?

I wonder what the lives of everyone I've touched would be like. How they might be better or how they might be worse.

Its all very Its-A-Wonderful-Life-y

And its all very pointless. I know that. Trust me, I do.

It makes me wonder, though, about all those people out there who continue to pray... have any of theirs been answered?

I would have to imagine that some of them have. I mean, even its by dumb luck, I'm positive that some people have prayed for something to happen and then had that thing happen.

Its not that I think that I'm not doing it right and they are.

I'm fairly close to positive that it doesn't matter how you do it or where you do it or who you even do it to (wow, that sounded kind of dirty, didn't it?)

Maybe all that matters is that you do it.

The power of positive thinking.

If you can dream it, you can be it.

Maybe praying for something is just a way for us to envision ourselves doing something or being something and by actually seeing that state of being we are better able to make the right decisions to get ourselves there.

So here it is. My first prayer in about 20 years.

Hello up there. Its me. Dave. I haven't done this in a really long time so I'll be the first to admit that I'm not really sure how this all goes. I figure I should start with small miracles before moving on to the big ones. Before I ask for anything, though, I just want to say thanks for all that I do have. I want to thank you for my family and my friends. I want to thank you for my pretty decent health, I don't have too many complaints there. I want to thank you for the creme bruele in my belly and the food in my fridge. I want to thank you for all the beauty that is in the world and in my life.
Ok, enough buttering you up. Here's my first request back in this prayer game. Please God, Lord, Allah, Yaweh, IDGAF or whatever it is you'd like to be called... Please let the sun rise in the morning. Like I said before, though, I figure we should keep this thing easy to start before we move on to the more serious stuff.

This is Dave, signing off.

ramblin' rose

Maybe the reason I haven't been sleeping well lately is because I haven't been writing. That's definitely a possibility. I have all these pent up words and they're fighting so hard to get out that my eyelids aren't strong enough to stay closed and keep them in... maybe.

...

So here's the deal. If I were to write our story out a million times it would go a million different ways, but each one would end the same way: with us growing old together.

...

I'm begining to need a cahnge again.
I need something
and I need it soon.

...

Have you ever seen the movie Yes Man? Well, I have... of course of I have... it has Zooey in it... Anyways... I think I'm going to do that on my next day off.

I'm just going to say Yes. Well, to anything within reason. If its possible for me to do it, I will. Or at least I'll try. I will Unleash The Power of Yes!

...

Girls poop.

When I was younger, I never thought about that. I mean guys talk about going to the bathroom. Some guys even show off what they've done to their younger brothers. And their younger brothers' friends. Guys go to "drop a duece," or "drop the kids off at the pool" or maybe they just go "read a magazine." Whatever you want to call it, we announce that we're doing it. Most girls don't do that.
It wasn't until I was older that I realized that girls fart. They poop. They do everything guys do, just more discretely.

I guess that's what it all boils down to, then, doesn't it? The fundamental difference between the sexes is that men are brought up to be proud of their bodies while women are taught to be ashamed of them.

...

This morning, my little cousin asked me what it was like to be in love. The kid is only 11, so I wasn't really sure how to describe the feeling to him in a way he would understand. So I told him it felt just like this... and then I smacked up upside the head.

mmmm.....

So let me start by saying that I have not been sleeping very well lately.

That has definitely affected my thinking.

Everything is skewed a little bit towards the extremes right now.

Right now, though

Right this very now

All I can think about is you.

I know that I've told you that you are amazing

And I'm pretty sure that you believe me.

You do.

I know you do.

Because you can't help but know its true.

I feel right now

Just like I did back then

Only more

So much more.

Its still a sort of puppy love

But that's just because thats how I love

Like a puppy.

With lots of tongue. :)p

its been way too long.

I haven't been writing lately. And I can't really say for sure exactly what I've been doing instead... watching movies? sleeping? Going out? I dunno... I guess it doesn't really matter why NOT, all that really matters is that I'm not.

I am now, though.

sorta.

I haven't actually said anything yet, have I?

I've just been rambling.

Nothing new there, though, right?

Right.

So, here's the thing. I want something new.

I know exactly what I want, but I can't have her, so... I'm stuck.

I've been in this position before and I know exactly what I did and I know exactly how it turned out and I don't plan on doing that again.

But...

There's always a but...

But this time its different!

I sound like an abused spouse... I swear, its different this time!

But it is.

I'm not allowing myself to go too far. I'm not going all in.

Trust me, though, I would if I could... I can't, though, so I won't.

I do want something, though, so I'm going to work on that.

And that's why I havent' been writing.

I need something in order to be able to write.

I need that kick

That inspiration.

I need Her.

My muse.

In the meantime, though, I'll try and see what I can do without Her.