its been way too long.

I haven't been writing lately. And I can't really say for sure exactly what I've been doing instead... watching movies? sleeping? Going out? I dunno... I guess it doesn't really matter why NOT, all that really matters is that I'm not.

I am now, though.

sorta.

I haven't actually said anything yet, have I?

I've just been rambling.

Nothing new there, though, right?

Right.

So, here's the thing. I want something new.

I know exactly what I want, but I can't have her, so... I'm stuck.

I've been in this position before and I know exactly what I did and I know exactly how it turned out and I don't plan on doing that again.

But...

There's always a but...

But this time its different!

I sound like an abused spouse... I swear, its different this time!

But it is.

I'm not allowing myself to go too far. I'm not going all in.

Trust me, though, I would if I could... I can't, though, so I won't.

I do want something, though, so I'm going to work on that.

And that's why I havent' been writing.

I need something in order to be able to write.

I need that kick

That inspiration.

I need Her.

My muse.

In the meantime, though, I'll try and see what I can do without Her.