August? Really?

I can't believe this month is almost over.

I have a birthday in a week in a half.

This will be my first birthday in quite some time that I won't be celebrating in Vegas.

That makes me sad.

Honestly, it breaks my heart more than just a little bit.

At first, it didn't really bother me... I mean, I'm still going to celebrate Davetember in style... Just not Big Baller Style.

This isn't going to be my big, introspective look at the year that has passed... but... looking back at all the decisions I've made over the last few years that have ultimate lead me to be in the position I'm in... well... I'm not sure Present Me agrees with some of the stuff Past Me decided to do.

They say that everything in life happens for a reason, though... but really, who the fuck are "they" and where do they get their information?

I saw, when life gives you lemons, suck it up and eat 'em if that's all you've got. Sure, you'll make that goofball sourpuss face for a few, but really, having lemons is better than not having anything at all, right?

Something About Women That Bugs the Crap Out of Me

Ok... so I realize that with the title above, the subject of this blog is pretty vague. There is one thing that has been top of mind lately, though. And that is dreams.

Not so much the dreams themselves... What happens in a dream is completely out of anybody's control. What kills me, though, is when a women gets upset at me for something I did or did not do in their dream.

Seriously, ladies... If I had any control over what I was doing in your dreams it would certainly NOT be whatever it was that would lead you to be pissed off at me.

I had this one X who's subconscious thought very little of me. I can't tell you how many times she had dreams about me killing her (I think that was from watching too much Dexter) or abandoning her in strange places (too much LOST) or cheating on her (no clue where that one came from...) And each time she would have one of those bad dreams she would be pissed at me the entire next day. It was ridiculous.

She wasn't the only one, either. There have been others. And each time it happens, there's nothing to do but throw my hands up in the air in frustration and appologize for my dream-self.

My question is, why doesn't it ever work the other way? Why can't I get me a little mornin' lovin' when I do something awesome in a dream? C'mon, ladies... I'm sure for every misdeed I may do in a dream there's at least one good thing. I'm not all bad, am I?

If there were some good to counterbalance the bad, I would be much more inclined to accept whatever fate the dreamworld had for me... but if it's just the bad? Well that just isn't fair...

On a side note: I shouldn't drink coffee after 9pm. Especially if its been a while since I've had caffine. Wooooooooodiggity, its 1:35am!!

I close my eyes and I squeeze them tight

and she was a rocket
and i had a parachute
and i was ready to hang on
for as long as i possibly could

...

you with your switchblade posse
i'll get my guns from the south

...

Ok, so here's the thing:

The thing.

...

Seriously, though, there is something there.
... well, not THERE as in, where I just typed, but its there
somewhere
so I guess I'll just let it out.

I'm in like.

Not love.

Like.

As in, I'm kinda smitten.

Like a kitten.

Only not.

There's a catch, though. There always is with me.
Always.
This one's a repeat, though.
That's new.
Usually I pick different ways to fall for the wrong people. This time, though... this time its something I've done before.

That's right, I've become smitten with someone who lives on the wrong coast.
The west coast.

argh.

Very frustrating.

Very.

Here's the thing, though:

The thing.

Ok... it wasn't funny the first time and it certainly wasn't funny this time, but I did it again.

Like I was saying, though, before I interupted myself... this one is different. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "they're all different. we've been down this road before..." but..
but..
but...
this time she really IS different.
She's the most random person I've ever met. In a good way.
She's.. well.. I don't want to get into that, because there's always a chance, no matter how slight, that she'll end up reading this....
So lets just say that I think she's neat-O.

And right about now, as I'm laying here in bed, hardly able to keep my eyes open... I would give just about anything in the world to have her by my side.

Unfortunately that is not going to happen so I'm just going to have to curl up in bed, maybe listen to some Mumford & Sons and hope I drift away to sleep where I can dream some happy, happy dreams... unless she calls, then I'll go for a 4 mile stroll around my neighborhood in the middle of the night.

I'm hoping for the stroll.

Bad Things

When you came in
The air went out
And every shadow
Filled up with doubt
I don't know who you are
But before the night is through
I wanna do bad things with you...

I'm the kind to sit up in his room
Hearts sick and eyes filled up with gloom
I don't know what you've done to me
But I know this much is true
I wanna do bad things with you...

I wanna do real bad things with you

And she was beautiful...

It took a moment.
That was all.
She made me smile.
I touched her skin.
She brushed back her hair.

She was beautiful.
She was all I'd ever need.

L.Zepp - Going To California

Spend my days with a woman unkind

smoked my stuff and drank all my wine

Made up my mind to make a new start

Goign to California with an aching in my heart

Someone told me there's a girl out there

with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair

Took my chances on a big jet plane

never let them tell you that they're always the same

The sea was red and the sky was grey

wondered how tomorrow could ever follow today

The mountains and the canyons started to tremble and shake

as the children of the sun began to wake

Seems that the wrath of the Gods

Got a punch on the nose and it started to flow;

I think I might be sinking

Throw me a line if I reach it in time

I'll meet you up there where the path

Runs straight and high

To find a queen without a king,

They say she plays guitar and cries and sings

Ride a white mare in the footsteps of dawn

Tryin to find a woman who's never, never, never been born

standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams

telling myself its not as hard, hard, hard as it seems

...

And with that I will let Ledd Zeppelin guide me through my mountain of dreams

Goodnight, world.

goodnight.

wine. lots of wine.

Ok.
I need to set the record straight.
There are some people out there who think my other blog is my main one.
You are incorrect.
This is my main escape from reality.
The other blog is more of a professional thing. I used it the one time to vent my .... frustrations(?) there.

This blog, though... this is wehre all the magic really happens.

This is where you learn about all the inner workings of All That Is Dave.

If its something that's had a great affect on me, its almost definitely here.

And I'm talking about in a personal way.

My mom.
My dad.
My sister.
My friends.
My many loves.
All here.
All an open book.

I may tell stories...
I may state fact that aren't 100% truth.

But every feeling.
Every emotion.
Everthing that really counts...
That's the truth....
...
....
.....
...... ......
...
Right now?
you want to know what's going on rihgt now?

I suppose I'll tell you...
Deja Vu.

Everything that's happening right now
feels like its happened before
...
and i'm afraid
more than just a little afraid

i'm guarded.

i'm....
well...

I'm the same as I've always been.

head over heels
head first
headstrong

I'm constantly looking around at my life and figuring out what's important
what i really want

i look at what other people have
and i look at what i have

and i try and figure out what it is that i want

i try and figure out what it is that i really want

what's important

what i can't live without