It's funny how this blog started out to be my outlet for Serious Writing and not just the random rabble I became known for on Myspace. This was supposed to be what I showed prospective publishers to showcase my brilliant prose and witty views on life.

Oops!

Oh well.

I guess this is just some kind of regression to the mean...

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For all the things I didn't say
For all the times I didn't stay
I want you to know
I need you to know
That I never, ever want you to go.

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No matter what you say, I'm still a fan of hugs

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I was going to say something else, but I realized that I can't. Not now. Not yet. Not here.

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Sometimes I think the backspace key is my best friend.

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I dunno. Sometimes I look back on my life and wonder why I made some of the decisions that I made. I wonder why I loved the people I've loved. I look back and see that there are a few commonalities. each one of them were so incredibly different in so many different ways, but there has always been that one thing they've all had in common.

a quick hello

Hey there, how's it going?
I haven't seen you around in, like, forever. Maybe a little bit longer even.
It's good to see you.
Nono, I mean it... it really is good to see you.
I've kinda missed you.
I mean, I have missed you.
I think about you all the time.
Well, no, not like that... not ALL THE TIME... but I do think about you a lot. I think about the way things used to be. I think about us. I think about the way WE used to be.
It's not like that, exactly...
No... It's not that either...
I mean, I don't really know what to tell you...
No, it's not that I don't WANT to tell you... I just don't know exactly what to say. I think about you. I miss you.
Do I love you? That's a hell of a question... Do you really want me to answer that?
Really?
Ok... Do I still love you.... well... yeah. I mean, I never stopped loving you. That's not something I can just turn on and turn off. It's not something I can just wish away. They say that time heals all wounds, right? Well fuck that. Time can't take away all the nights we spent together. Time can't fix what it feels like to wake up without you by my side. Yeah... Do I still love you? Yes. Yes I do.

random bits from the last few days... done with this, though, and ready to move on to the next one

Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking of



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If you really love someone, tell them. Don't worry about looking ridiculous. What's really ridiculous is passing up the opportunity to tell someone that your heart is invested in them.



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Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with everything they've got.



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Now that you're gone



My days are so, so long.



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To live is the rarest thing in the world.



Most people just exist.


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How do you let people go? How do you say goodbye to everything you know, everything you are? Life has this funny way of never stopping, never slowing down. Never letting you catch your breath. Every day the world changes. People change. But at the same time, everything is the same. SSDD. Same shit, different day.
...
what is it you're writing on that sheet of paper?
is it something meant for me?
i do think you're something special
sitting underneath that tree.

dream a litlte dream of me

give me something to dream of

give me a piece of you

i need a little something, baby

i need something new

every word that is spoken

every promise has been broken

i need a little something, baby

i need something new

your reasons are like seasons, they just keep on changin

she drives me absolutely wild, but I know she's not right for me at all.
I can't help but flirt, even though it feels kind of wrong.
Somehow she feels a little like my kid sister... only... my kid sister who is incredibly hot. y'know?
You probably don't... I'm not even sure I know.
...
that was from a few days ago. don't mind that, but i'm going to continue on with this anyways.
I don't even know what i want to say right now.
nothing really.
i don't have anything to say.
i was really just hoping that i'd sit down at the keyboard and inspiration would just strike me.
i was wrong.
maybe i should just go to sleep.
g'knight, babe, and have the sweetest of dreams...

every day i want you more and more and every day brings new light and new hope and new beginings and every day ends exactly the same without you by my side.
....
flittering in and out
touching
briefly
softly
whispering
gently
gently
and gone again
....
passion is a candle that burns at both ends
...
2hot 2handle 2cold 2hold
...
I wait even though I know I shouldn't
So I'll just say goodnight.

dreaming of being

and there we were
face to face
your hands in mine
you leaned forward
and i
well
i did too
eyes closed
lips touching
kissing
dreaming
of
being
...
io che non vivo senza te
...
iron and wine
playing in the background
whispering
words
and rocking us to sleep
knowing you're there
is like dreaming
dreaming
of being
...
Ok.... so here's a question: Are we supposed to want to grow up, or do we just have to?
I can't tell you how many times I stayed up all night with friends and watched the sun come up before going to bed. Sometimes it was with guy friends... sometimes it was with girl friends... sometimes it was with girlfriends. Either way, I miss that. I miss not having to care about tomorrow. I miss being young and knowing that the only thing that matters is Right Now.
To me, that's what being young is. Living in the now. As long as you're doing that, you're staying young.
Right now, everything thing I'm doing, everything I'm planning, is for tomorrow and I can feel time just slipping away. I can feel myself getting older. Growing up. I feel like I should be sipping some Scotch talking about Municipal Bonds and What My Handicap Was Last Time I Shot A Round Of Golf. Well... I don't play golf. I don't own bonds. I am starting to like Scotch, though, so I guess I can't knock that.
I guess what I'm getting at is that I don't want to grow up. I want to stay 20 forever. ... ok, no... 24? no... hmm... how bout if you take the highlights from each year of my early 20's and mash 'em together and that's where I'd like to be.
I don't know anymore... everything's just so.... what it is, y'know? you do. I know you do. I think you do, anyways...
my eyes are closed....
my breathing is slow and deep....
if I stop moving my fingers I think
i just
might
fall
asleep
and then i'll be
dreaminig
of
being