I'm not exactly sure what to write about here. Right now.

Mixed emotions.

Happy and... not.

But mostly happy.

Went on a mission today... and failed.

Found my new sunglasses, though... didn't buy them. way too much $$$

Anyways... I want to be more random.

biggity biggity bam!

.... I'm feeling kind of uninspired at the moment though ....

damn.

oh well

maybe next time.

Late one night I saw you there
Staring at me from across the bar
Everyone was dancing
So I got up and took you with me
On to the dance floor
We moved to the music
And we were born in each others arms

...

i was going to say more but i didn't have the words

...

where did you go with my broken heart

...

falling from above
you took it all with you
as you crashed right through me

...

take it back
take it all back
take back what you said
and what you did
and lets start over
with only what we truly mean

...

my fingers miss the feel of you

...

there's no need to hide anymore
no need to run

I don't remember ever being as small as she was. Maybe its just the perspective of being older. Of being taller. She just stood there, with her hands clasped in front of her. She wasn't quite crying, but you could tell how upset she was by the way she kept fidgeting. The entire time her mother was talking to her, she didn't take her eyes off her shoes. I just wanted to hug the poor girl. To protect her. No one so small deserved to be yelled at like that.

...

She has no idea what strange steps lie in front of her. She just looks at the world around her and knows that everything she sees is hers for the taking. She reaches up and pulls a star from the sky and puts it on a thin silver chain around her neck.

...

Her smile says that she's innocent, but her eyes say something completely different.

...

Does perfection exist in another person?

...

What ever happened to the days where kids were just kids?

...

At some point I changed. Looking at myself in the mirror, I know I am not the same person I was when I woke up this morning. So, really, I'm left with one question... who am I?

...

All the houses lined up in neat little rows. All the little girls with their little shoes with their little bows. All the little boys with grass stains on their clothes.

...

Hush

Quiet now.

Just let the music wash over you

And in to you

And through you

...

My eyes are closed. It's so close to being that time....

Innerscope

ack!

It's been, like, MONTHS since I've written anything! What's Wrong With Me!?!

A lack of inspiration, perhaps?

Certainly not a lack of perspiration. It's hot as balls right now. I've got the AC pumpin and the fans blowin. My clothes are strewn across my living room floor and I'm sipping on a tall glass of iced tea wearing a sweatband I soaked in water and put in the freezer for a few hours.

I'm hungry again, too.

This isn't good at all.

We're talking five square meals a day and I'm certainly not working out. Its all just getting burned off. Literally. Its like I'm on fire.

I wrote a story a long time ago inspired by this state I'm in. It was about a guy who just got so hot he set someone on fire. Or did he? He was kind of halucinating.... I never said it was a good story, but I wrote it nonetheless.

The idea was there, though.

I had it stuck in my head and I had to let it out.

At the time I as obsessed with the idea of writing a story from the point of view of someone who's point of view was skewed.

Like reading Batman from the view of the Joker. You can't really trust the narrator, but you don't know that from the start. You start off thinking that the view you're getting is the Right view... but it turns out that its very, very wrong.

At first the idea was just to write about someone who was kind of evil... the badguy.... but instead it came out as someone crazy. Going crazy. You can see it as the story developes, but there's nothing flat out telling you. You just have to assume at some point that what you're seeing isn't exactly real.

I thought it was a good concept... I just didn't really execute properly.

I think that's something I could revisit now. It's been a lot of years and I'm much more familiar with crazy than I was back then.

I look around myself now and wonder if this is sanity.

The line is thin, and so often I wonder which side I'm on.

It really has been a whie since I've written anything... it feels kinda nice. my fingers dancing across the keys making their own beautiful music.

In fact... the music is s nice that its actually lulling me to sleep.

So let me leave you th this, dear reader....

What would you do if you found out that you're ownpersonal narator wasn't quite trustworthy? What if hat inner voice of yours started giving you bad intel Intel you Knew as false? Would you start to listen or would you go against your greatest instinct and ignore it?

Do you ever wonder what writers do when they can't write?

They write.

Just not what they want to.

The words still pour out onto the page, the only problem is that they seem to pour out from the wrong orifice.

...

Sometimes it seems like no matter what I say, it always seems to be either extremely right or extremely wrong.

I don't know how I do it.

It's curse disguised as a blessing disguised as a stuffed llama.

Its like I .... well, it's like I just don't know anymore.

Everything just seems to be something

circlescirclescircles

....

Are you happy?

It's a simple question, really...

Are you happy?

Do you even know what that means anymore?

When we were younger, everythign was so much easier. Love was simple back then. Love was all there was. Nothing came before that first love and nothing was going to matter after it. It was innocent and pure. It was gold.

And now the world is different. Its moved on. The past haunts our present with every breath. It not only molds us, it consumes us.

Its like we don't know how to feel anymore, so we grab hold of the closest heart and pull it into our own to fill whatever gaps our past has left us with.

Its a melancholy world filled with melancoly souls. A sad state. A lonely one.

So I pledge, from this day forward, to change.

...

Ok... let's get real... get on or get out.

this is the sound of loss. can you hear the echo?

I am a poor and wretched boy

Lost at sea with no shore in sight

She tossed me a line

But fell just a bit too short

...

Last night I heard the sound
The sound of your leaving
Loud voices screaming
Muffled by the wall
I hid my head under my pillow
Hoping it would fade

Last night I heard the sound
The sound of your leaving
The door slammed behind you
Only crying remained
You started your car
And I never saw you again

...

From nothing
to something
to everything
and back to nothing.
full circle
coming back again
move
before you're moved
duck
and be free

gripping, clawing
ripping, gnawing
reaching out
and pulling in
trying so hard
not to sink again
From nothing
to something
to everything
and back again

it's after one in the morning and i'm still awake.

barely.

Just thought I'd stop by, though, since its been a while...

Hello bloggosphere!

I'll give you wedding stories later....

for tonight, though

I want to wish my dad a happy father's day.

I miss him so much.

There's so much of my life that i wish I could share with him... so many questions I would ask... so many stories we'd share.... I love you and I miss you, pops...