Drunken Rabble

So, for those of you who don't know... I'm moving to Alabama.

I know. I threw up a little when I found out too.

But, seriously, it's a good move for me at work and really, what's holding me down in Tampa? I mean, I do have amazing friends here and it will be hard, very hard, for me to leave them. But I know that no matter where I am, I'll have them if I need them.

my mind is racing faster than my fingers are typing.

I haven't really done this in a while... it's like I've forgotten what I'm supposed to say.

I mean, i know i'm supposed to say anythign ... everything ... but... it's just that... i don't know.

that's usually how it goes for me,t hough, isn't it?

I have these grand plans... these perfect ideals... and when it all comes down to it, that's all they are. they're not actions. they're not real.

now, there are some exceptions to that last statement... and those exceptions are the moments in life that I will remember every detail of for the rest of my life. the smells. the tastes. the feel. the way my heart raced towards the unknown.

those are the moments i live for.

I just typed out a list of moments that i'll never forget.... but... some things just aren't meant to be shared.

those are the images i see whenever i am in that moment between being awake and dreaming. those are the people i think of any time i need to feel needed.

so... yeah. where do i go from here?

i've been asking myself that question for a long time now... maybe this move will help me find that answer.

she wears her heart on her sleeve. she is the most pure person i've met in a while. a long while. i think that's why i'm so scared. well, maybe scared isn't really the right word. cautious. that would be more accurate.

i know she means well. and i know that what she tells me is true. at least, it's true for now, anyways. but really, what is her intent? i've asked and she claims that she doesn't know. fate will have its way, she says.

i don't buy that, though.

what i do buy, though, is how tired i am.

my fingers feal like they're made of lead, my nose is running as if it were a river, and my eyelids just don't seem to want to stay open.

So a tissue and some sleep seem to be jsut what the dr ordered.

good night world.

be kind.

rewind.

i once lived in a house

where we left the lights on all the time

people walked through the front door

and stayed for days



i once lived in a house

where the music played all the time

everyone had smiles on their faces


...


down, down, down
some things just happen
i didn't mean to let you down
but some things happen
so we can be carried back up again

...

i saw her today
and she took my breath away

...

i thought i heard your voice whisper a secret in to the dark

...

there are some things i like more than others
there are a few i like more than most
and the only one i love is you

...

lets go see what the world thinks of us now

i
traced
a
line
on
her
back
with
my
fingertip
and she let out a sigh
that sent a
shiver
down my spine

...

there's more here, I swear there is... it just doesn't want to come. there's just too much going on right now to be able to pinpoint one singe thing to think about let alone write about.

can you hear it coming?
it's the future.
and it's here.
now.

I always sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door. I didn't always. I remember when we lived at The House I slept on the side closest to the window. When it was really cold and we were covered in heaps of blankets, I would slide my leg over to the marble window sill just to feel the cold on my skin in stark contrast to the warmth I'd feel from you.

...

So, I played basketball last night with a bunch of guys from work. I was talking about it today with one of my coworkers. At first we were talking about our aches and pains in our old age, and then we started talking about the games themselves. I mentioned that I couldn't wait to play again to make up for all the shots that I missed. He just looked at me for a second and kind of laughed. He said that a couple of the guys were talking earlier that morning about all of the crazy shots that I made and no one really noticed all the ones I missed.

I think its so weird how so often all I see are the shots I miss and totally lose sight of all the amazing ones that I make.

what happens when the whole world turns it's back on you?

...

so, there she is, standing in front of me, needing me. needing someone to love her. to tell her she's beautiful. to tell her that she's needed. to tell ehr that there's nobody else like her.

there she is. standing in front of me needing to be fixed. needing to have her pieces put back together again.

...

and that's where my problem really is.

I like putting pieces back together.

I liek putting together what was once broken.

I jsut have this problem that once the pieces are put back together, they realize they're better off without me.

sigh.

sleep.

i saw all the lights and it seemed like they were just lining up and so i followed them. i followed the string of lights as far as they would take me. well, that's not exactly true. i followed them as far as I could go. i never found where they ended. it seemed like they just went on forever. but now... now what? all i can do is lay here in this miserable heap out in the middle of ... in the middle of somewhere. i almost said in the middle of nowhere, but that wouldn't have been right. i'm definitely somewhere. i just have absolutely no clue where that might be.

...

i saw the movie Up In The Air yesterday. I liked it. Consider this to be my spoiler alert, because i'm going to talk a little about the movie and, even thought i doubt i'll say anything major, i figured i should give you a heads up nonetheless.

Actually, you know what? now that i'm actually laying in bed, i can't seem to really keep my eyes open.

I think I'm going to crash.

l8r g8rs.

blowing bubbles

:'


:0


:O


:x


The End.

there was a place that i used to call home
somehow
at some point
it became just another place
...
i take her clothes off
she takes mine off too
the sad part is
i can only think of you
she touches me
and i feel your skin
with my eyes closed
it's your arms i'm in
...
new years
new fears
new tears
and lots
and lots
and lots
of new beers
...
cheers
...
i need to stop. i need someone to help me. someone to hold me. someone to tell me that it's all going to be ok. i need someone to lie to me. someone to tell me that it doesn't really matter. that life will go on.